A Budapest-based multinational company's new instructions

Object: A Budapest-based multinational company's new instructions

From: Headquarters

To: All Hungarian Speaking Staff

Subject: Improper Language Usage

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting

our office in Hungary that offensive language is commonly used by our

Hungarian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our

policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and

staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

 

1. Words like basszameg, a kurva életbe, fasz and other such

expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic

effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.

 

2. You will not say elbaszta when someone makes a mistake, or

leszarták if you see someone being reprehended, or szar when a major

mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb szarni

and baszni are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our

environment.

 

3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any

circumstances will be referred to as faszfej, genya, szarházi or

geci.

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as seggfej nor will

persons who lack initiative be referred to as beszari.

 5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be

referred to as baromságok.

 6. Do not say baszogassa az anyukáját if somebody is persistent; do

not add bazzzmeg, if a colleague is going through a difficult

situation. Furthermore, you must not say elbasztuk (refer to item 2)

nor erre rá fogunk baszni when a matter becomes excessively

complicated.

 7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say menj a

picsába nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with, mi a

faszt akarsz?".

8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly

industrial partners rohadt beszállítók.

9. Do not say menjenek a picsába ezzel a szarral when a relevant

project is presented to you, or should you ever answer lófasz a

seggedbe when your assistance is required.

 10. You should never call partner representatives as rohadt dög or

barom állat..

 11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms

such as dögös picsa, köcsög állat or buzi homokos.

 12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say

kitörlöm a seggem ezzel a szöveggel!

 Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.